Lost Souls ~ Part Three
The darkness that held me was brief and slowly I began to hear sounds of someone near. I began to stir, carefully trying to pull myself out of the pitch blackness that had enveloped my sight. I felt a hand on my shoulder and then someone close to my ear. I could feel the sensation of breath as he spoke, “Angel, can you hear me?” He asked.
“Yes.” I said sleepily.
“Why are you here?” His voice was muffled, almost as if it was passing through water.
I desperately tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t, just a cool breeze and the sounds of a voice in my ear were the only sensations I had.
“Gabriel?” I asked, hoping I had recognized the voice correctly.
“Yes.” He whispered into my ear.
Chills swept over my body knowing he was so close, delicately whispering in my ear, feeling his voice on my face and gently touching my shoulder.
I tried to lift my hand to touch him, anything to bring me closer to him while I waited for my sight to return. My palm was met with his; he carefully laced his fingers within mine and held them somewhere between his body and mine.
“You shouldn’t have come, it’s dangerous here. Go home.” His voice was drifting away like a soft echo reverberating in my mind.
“No, I’ve come to see you…” I protested with as much strength as I could muster, which wasn’t much.
“Angel…” His voice had trailed off and disappeared along with his touch and the closeness of his body.
“Excuse me Miss?” I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I woke up to a bright light hanging above me inside the cabin of the plane. I looked around and realized I was the only one left on board. I looked up at the stewardess who stood above me.
“I’m sorry Miss, but you need to de-board the plane. We’ve landed in San Diego.”
“Oh!” I quickly unfastened my belt and gathered my purse. I looked up at the attendant a little embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to sleep so long, I’m sorry about that.”
“That’s okay Miss, it happens all the time.” She smiled sweetly.
I glanced up at her accidentally catching sight of her name. “Miryea” was delicately embroidered in cursive writing just above a small Continental Airlines pin.
I quickly looked away so my facial expression wouldn’t alarm her. The dream had been so real, I had fabricated it all. I shook my head dismissing the thoughts and quickly got off the plane.
After collecting my bag, I went outside to pick up my rental car that would take me to my motel. I hesitated for just a moment before stepping outside into the coastal night air. When the tinted glass doors opened it was a lovely night. Cool and refreshing, the salty sea air filled my senses and I quickly regained my courage to continue. I checked in and waited patiently by the curb for my car to be delivered. I looked up at the sky there were just a few clouds, light and sporadic they kept their distance from the moon which shone brightly.
A woman stood near the curb, possibly hailing a taxi. My stomach sank for a moment as I tried to get a good look at her face. After a moment she was joined by a man that quickly embraced her before picking up her bag. They walked away from the terminal, arms wrapped around each other.
I released the breath of air I was holding.
My car pulled up and I was on my way. I had gotten a small map and directions from the man at the rental place on how to get to Centre City. I don’t know why I was surprised about the distinct differences of the city now that I was awake. It looked like a laid back part of town. There were a lot of small shops, boutiques and the occasional bar when I drove through. I was energized to see the live music, wine tasting, art galleries, patio restaurants and people on motorcycles enjoying this perfect weather.
Was this really vampire territory? But then again, what had I expected? The apocalypse…no, I hadn’t. Centre City was beautiful, nothing like I imagined and for right now, that was a good thing. I found my motel easily and checked in. Glancing at my watch I was debating on whether or not to go to the club tonight. It was almost eleven but I convinced myself that it was a nightclub. I would still have plenty of time to get there and look for Gabriel.
I changed my clothes quickly, putting on a silky dress with soft print and zipping my knee high boots that I loved because they were classy and they gave me some extra height. I checked my hair in the mirror, which was responding remarkably well to the sea air, grabbed my lightly woven wrap and headed to Lost Souls.
Just thinking of it made my stomach flutter. I was here and I was going to see Gabriel. My heart leapt as my teenage infatuation quickly returned.
I drove to the club anticipating the bright neon of Lost Souls with every street sign passed. The parking lot at the club was incredibly full, so I ended up parking down the street and walking back. The line extending outside wasn’t too bad; I got in after waiting for only thirty minutes. My eyes were scanning the club looking for Gabriel in the sea of bodies.
The loud music and décor contributed to the clubs’ ominous feeling. Even though it was clearly designed to be a vampire club it didn’t match the level of creepiness that my dream version displayed. People were having a good time. Humans and vampires were undoubtedly mixed together on the dance floor and sharing space against the bars, that were strategically placed throughout the club.
I had completed a half circle around the perimeter of the club before my eyes rested on four tall men standing together near one of the back offices. I instantly recognized them as the purebloods on television; four of the six original purebloods that created their own species throughout time. Five being vampire, one being wolf. We, as humans, knew very little about the other two mysterious species of immortals that lived in our world, aside from these four which had gotten a tremendous amount of media time. They were all so tall, it was difficult to determine which one may be Gabriel from this distance. I funneled myself through the crowd making my way to their side of the room and not really knowing what I was going to do or say once I stood before him.
I stopped when I was ten feet from them. Two were not facing me.
“Gabriel?” I asked softly.
One of the men turned his head slightly to the side, picking up on my whisper over the intense sound of music. The other two men that were facing lifted their gaze and met mine with their magical eyes. I recognized one as Kris, Gabriel’s cousin and the patriarch or primary leader of this coven. His eyes were dark, almost black from this distance but hints of dark blue crystals were reflecting the periodic strobe lighting. His expression was stoic as he watched me giving the feeling that I was either not wanted or unimportant. I switched to the only other face that was looking at me. Nathaniel, Gabriel’s younger brother who only answered to the name “Johnny”. He was smiling beautifully, with the same good looks of his family members and with sweet pale blue eyes that reflected his friendly, well-known personality. I smiled back, happy for a fairly warm reception.
He mouthed a few words to the man on his left who had not yet turned around. Both heads finally turned to face me and I immediately found the face and the eyes of the man I was looking for. I smiled when I saw Gabriel’s exotic eyes look my way. He completed his turn and returned a small smile. He said something; just a few words that made the other vampires leave his side. I walked towards him, my heart starting to thump in my chest.
The first thing I noticed was I was taller. I came up to his chin, thanks to the boots I was wearing. I looked up at his face and paused for a moment, trying to find the words.
“Angel.” He remembered me.
I smiled bright, “Hello Gabriel.”
His eyes followed the length of my body, making me feel warm inside and little self-conscious.
“You are all grown up.” He observed.
I nodded, “Yes, it’s been awhile.” I felt the heat rise to the surface of my cheeks.
“Yes, it has.” He agreed. “You are even more beautiful then I remember.”
My head dropped, I was too shy to meet his gaze while he paid me compliments. “Thank you.” I glanced up at him and he was smiling at my modesty.
He held his hand out to me, “Come with me.”
I quickly took his hand and let him lead me into a corridor with an adjoining office. He held the door open and followed me inside.
Once the door was closed the majority of the club noise was silenced.
I turned around intending to see a smile but was met with a slight frown on his face.
“I asked you not to come.” He walked over to his desk and sat on top of it, facing me.
“What?” I was trying to remember when he had said that. The only time I remembered was the dream I had while still on the plane. Had it been real?
“But that was a dream…” I drifted off, not wanting to sound crazy.
“It was still me. That’s what I do.” He offered me a seat on one of the leather chairs that occupied this large office. I sat down feeling confused.
“I manipulate dreams.” He clarified. “I sensed you had come, I could feel you near.”
“That was real?”
“Only parts of it.” He said.
“But why didn’t you want me to come?” I was feeling a little hurt, “I wanted to thank you. My heart has healed.”
“Of course it has.” He smiled slightly. “And I am happy you are well, but it’s dangerous for you to be here, to be with me. You shouldn’t have come, Angel.”
“I don’t understand.” I only remembered the man that escorted me in the dark that changed my life forever, what could be dangerous about being with him?
“A lot has happened since I last saw you. I’m not the same vampire you met in Keaau.”
“What do you mean?”
“I won’t go into details but you need to trust me.”
“I do trust you.”I emphasized. I felt sad, almost to the point of tears. I stood up not knowing if I should leave or stay.
He stood up and approached me. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. “Don’t be upset, I’m happy to see you as well. This is just a
bad time for me.”
I looked up at his face, “A bad time? I don’t understand.”
He carefully released his embrace and ran his fingers through his hair. He sat back down on the desk and looked at me intently. “Events have happened in the past ten years that have added a certain…facet to my personality. One that’s difficult for me to control. Physically you are in danger of just being around me. You know I would never intentionally hurt you but the probability of it is high if you stay here.”
I walked over to him and sat next to him on the desk. I turned his face towards mine, “I know it’s been a long time and I also know that moments with each other have been brief but you have to know that I trust you. I don’t know what’s going on but I do know that you are the man that saved my life, I could never fear you.”
He took my hand from his face and laid it on my lap, “Maybe you should.”
I could feel the Portuguese stubbornness rise to the surface. “Despite what you think, I’m a grown woman and I can be here if I choose. If you don’t want to see me, then that’s a different matter entirely but I’m not leaving because you say so.” I almost regretted those words but did my best to stand by them.
He smiled at me, this time a little brighter, “I was hoping you might say that.” He reclaimed my hand and held it gently as we talked.
He sighed out loud. I was somewhat surprised by that human response.
He looked at me, lightly touching my cheek with his thumb, “For the record, it’s still a bad idea for you to be here.”
“Well it serves you right for walking me home that night. If you had left me alone I never would have thought to come see you. You see how everything happens for a reason?”
He nodded, smiling sweetly.
“Then we are agreed, this is all your fault.” I smiled.
He laughed, which made me feel amazing.
“You have an amazing smile.” I leaned in closer to him, completely attracted to him and those eyes. I felt my head swimming slightly as I closed my eyes to kiss him.
He pulled away and my eyes shot open.
“What is it?” I asked, still feeling a bit dizzy.
“Angel, don’t you realize that being this close to me affects you? You aren’t thinking straight, you aren’t yourself. I’m a vampire; I can make you feel star struck or destitute with a glance. You don’t really want me.”
“Yes, I do.” I bravely stated.
“Either way, it’s not possible. You’re welcome to stay, it’s not for me to tell you to leave California but if you’ve come here for anything other than reconnecting, you will be sorely disappointed.” His deep voice bellowed.
I was already feeling crushed. I had expected more than that but he was right. What was I thinking? The dizziness had finally cleared my head and I wondered what kind of a fool I had made myself out to be.
“I’m sorry.” I felt it was the most responsible thing to say for my assumption.
He stood up and went outside to a small patio that extended from his office. I was quick to join him.
“You’re right.” I confessed in the silence. “It was a childhood infatuation that gave me the courage to come here but I don’t regret it. Do you know how amazing it was for me to have a new lease on life?”
He looked at me listening intently.
“I was a girl dreaming of this magical creature that had saved me, me of all the people in the world. I dreamt of you nearly every night that you would come back
and check on me but it never happened.”
He turned away looking a bit sad.
“I wanted so badly to see you again, as an adult, to thank you. I’ve never felt truly safe my whole life except for when I was with you. I knew I would be okay with you around.”
He returned his gaze, watching my face.
“To be honest,” tears started to well, “I always thought your gift would wear off and one day it would catch me off guard and send me to the hospital or worse. I never expected it to last this long. I remember you said that ‘living in fear is no way to live’ and I tried to live by those words but fear always crept back in. It was only when I thought of you that I felt truly safe and fearless. That type of security, for me, is priceless.” I met his gaze. “Honestly Gabriel, I love feeling close to you and I’m terrified to leave your side.” I let my head fall slightly, “I know it’s a product of the human condition, self-pity and all but fear is very real for me and I’m sorry to have put so much pressure on you to make it go away.”
I felt his arms go around my shoulders and pull me close. “That is what I love about humans, so frail, so tragic and all so beautiful.” He lifted my chin so I would look at him, “But none so beautiful as you.”
I lay in bed recounting the time I spent at the club with Gabriel. I closed my eyes, heart and body on fire I fantasized a moment of time when he was mine and he was touching me the way I had always dreamt he would. I ran my hands along my body, touching my curves and imagining it was him, hoping he would like the feel of my soft, curvaceous body. There was a longing and then a brief emptiness I felt within my chest wanting it to be real and wondering if it ever would be. I felt sad almost to the point of tears when I thought it may never happen. I opened my eyes and rested my head to the side. Looking into the darkness of the room and thinking about Gabriel. I wished that he wanted me, that he would reconsider being with me even despite our differences. There was something that attracted me to him that was beyond the illusions of vampirism. It was the kindness in his face, the security in his embrace and the certainty that we were meant to be with each other throughout time. I didn’t fear his lifestyle or him. How could I when I had given my trust to him so long ago? Part of me was a hopeless romantic and I knew that. I wondered if that would be the cause of my heartbreak this time. I was putting too much of my heart into ideas and fantasies that were only attainable
according me. I had no idea if Gabriel felt the same. He said he didn’t want me in his life but I knew it was an effort to protect me, not reject me.
I closed my eyes, smiling to myself because I knew he cared for me. He had even said I was beautiful. Beautiful…me? My heart soared within my chest because I knew he was telling me the truth. He had no reason to lie, no ulterior motive. He could have said that I was pretty and I still would have been his. That compliment was the most genuine comment that I had ever heard in over a half dozen relationships. Just that one word had more meaning and feeling than all the attempted compliments or complacent remarks that I had lived off of for several years. Is this what it felt like to be beautiful? To have a man see something inside of you that you never knew existed? Whatever it was and for however long it lasted, I welcomed the feeling of sublime beauty and the realization that I had found the man all women deserved and rarely found; a man, a vampire, my Gabriel.
I drifted to sleep and embraced the dreams that I hoped would be mine for tonight.
Sometime later the sounds of my neighbors coming home had woke me from my sleep. I stirred slightly, glancing at the clock, four-thirty. I had been asleep for a little over an hour. I smiled thinking of my dream and closed my eyes hoping for a revisit. A slight breeze drifted over my body, lightly caressing my skin and then I felt the warm flesh of someone covering my eyes gently with their hand. I gasped in surprise.
“Don’t be afraid…I’m not going to hurt you.” He whispered into my ear.
That voice, I knew it was him. “Gabriel?” I asked touching the hand that covered my eyes.
It was then that I felt his body rest next to mine on the bed, leaning comfortably against me. His breath on my neck was electrifying my senses as my nerve endings shot through my body making everything tingle. I tried to remove his hand so I could see him.
“Don’t.” He responded.
“Why?”
“I don’t want you to see me, just feel me.” He ran his lips across my jaw kissing lightly on his way to my neck. I could feel his mouth open wide just above my throat and a flutter of nervousness hit my body. It was quickly gone when I felt the tenderness of his mouth and tongue as he kissed me. His hand was trailing along the side of my body, sending more electricity through my body when his hand touched the side of my breast. His palm rested for a moment on my stomach followed by his sweet kisses. His fingers carefully following the skin just under the fabric of my tank top, exploring slightly before he removed his hand. I could hear the sound and the tearing of my top between my breasts. Something sharp was splitting the fabric down the middle and cool air told me that he had cut the top almost to my navel.
I began to tense when I realized that he now had a view of my scars. They were permanent reminders of numerous heart surgeries that had left nasty raised scars along my chest. I rested my hand over my scar, hoping he would not look at them.
He kissed the side of my face and whispered into my ear, “Close your eyes and don’t open them, I will be gone before you can focus.” He removed the hand that covered my eyes and I tried to keep my eyes firmly closed.
He laced his fingers into my hand covering my scars and gently pulled it away. His other hand parted the fabric of my top so he could lay gentle kisses on my chest. Each kiss carefully and tenderly followed the line of scar tissue that deformed my body.
I reached out with my free hand touching his head while he kissed me. I felt the soft, smoothness of his hair and placed my hand on his shoulder. It felt like him, it had to be him. Who else would come to me?
“Gabriel?”
He was silent, continuing the upwards motion of kisses that took him back to my neck. His body moved closer to mine, pressing harder against me.
“You are so beautiful.” He finally spoke as he ran his fingers along the side of my face.
His warm, soft lips touched mine and my body exploded. He positioned his torso to rest on top of mine, careful not to put too much weight on me. He kissed me passionately making small sounds of pleasure escape from my throat. I held the side of his face, lacing my fingers along the back of his neck and wanting more from his kiss. He responded and I felt the velvet smoothness of his tongue enter my mouth.
I gasped for air when our lips parted. My heart was racing and my breathing was heavy but he was still silent in the dark. He lifted his body from mine and rested alongside of me again.
He ran his hand over the torn clothing that covered my breast before putting his hand under my body. He lifted my body with his arm, making my back arch and my head fall back. My neck exposed he kissed the tender skin under my chin and beneath my ear.
I could feel my heart pounding, my pulse had quickened and no doubt he could hear the sounds of my blood racing through my body.
“I love you.” I managed to confess.
He laid my body down on the bed, “I know.” He whispered in my ear.
My stomach sank briefly at the thought that my emotions may have been too transparent but who was I kidding? I had no intentions of hiding my feelings from him; I only wanted to keep myself from acting a fool over it.
“Angel…” His hot breath was on my jaw, “this is no place for you. You have to leave, I want you to, but I had to touch you, just once.”
“Gabriel!” My eyes shot open to protest leaving.
A rush of wind burst through the motel room rousing the curtains and scattering my hair. When I looked into the darkness, he was gone.
“Yes.” I said sleepily.
“Why are you here?” His voice was muffled, almost as if it was passing through water.
I desperately tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t, just a cool breeze and the sounds of a voice in my ear were the only sensations I had.
“Gabriel?” I asked, hoping I had recognized the voice correctly.
“Yes.” He whispered into my ear.
Chills swept over my body knowing he was so close, delicately whispering in my ear, feeling his voice on my face and gently touching my shoulder.
I tried to lift my hand to touch him, anything to bring me closer to him while I waited for my sight to return. My palm was met with his; he carefully laced his fingers within mine and held them somewhere between his body and mine.
“You shouldn’t have come, it’s dangerous here. Go home.” His voice was drifting away like a soft echo reverberating in my mind.
“No, I’ve come to see you…” I protested with as much strength as I could muster, which wasn’t much.
“Angel…” His voice had trailed off and disappeared along with his touch and the closeness of his body.
“Excuse me Miss?” I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I woke up to a bright light hanging above me inside the cabin of the plane. I looked around and realized I was the only one left on board. I looked up at the stewardess who stood above me.
“I’m sorry Miss, but you need to de-board the plane. We’ve landed in San Diego.”
“Oh!” I quickly unfastened my belt and gathered my purse. I looked up at the attendant a little embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to sleep so long, I’m sorry about that.”
“That’s okay Miss, it happens all the time.” She smiled sweetly.
I glanced up at her accidentally catching sight of her name. “Miryea” was delicately embroidered in cursive writing just above a small Continental Airlines pin.
I quickly looked away so my facial expression wouldn’t alarm her. The dream had been so real, I had fabricated it all. I shook my head dismissing the thoughts and quickly got off the plane.
After collecting my bag, I went outside to pick up my rental car that would take me to my motel. I hesitated for just a moment before stepping outside into the coastal night air. When the tinted glass doors opened it was a lovely night. Cool and refreshing, the salty sea air filled my senses and I quickly regained my courage to continue. I checked in and waited patiently by the curb for my car to be delivered. I looked up at the sky there were just a few clouds, light and sporadic they kept their distance from the moon which shone brightly.
A woman stood near the curb, possibly hailing a taxi. My stomach sank for a moment as I tried to get a good look at her face. After a moment she was joined by a man that quickly embraced her before picking up her bag. They walked away from the terminal, arms wrapped around each other.
I released the breath of air I was holding.
My car pulled up and I was on my way. I had gotten a small map and directions from the man at the rental place on how to get to Centre City. I don’t know why I was surprised about the distinct differences of the city now that I was awake. It looked like a laid back part of town. There were a lot of small shops, boutiques and the occasional bar when I drove through. I was energized to see the live music, wine tasting, art galleries, patio restaurants and people on motorcycles enjoying this perfect weather.
Was this really vampire territory? But then again, what had I expected? The apocalypse…no, I hadn’t. Centre City was beautiful, nothing like I imagined and for right now, that was a good thing. I found my motel easily and checked in. Glancing at my watch I was debating on whether or not to go to the club tonight. It was almost eleven but I convinced myself that it was a nightclub. I would still have plenty of time to get there and look for Gabriel.
I changed my clothes quickly, putting on a silky dress with soft print and zipping my knee high boots that I loved because they were classy and they gave me some extra height. I checked my hair in the mirror, which was responding remarkably well to the sea air, grabbed my lightly woven wrap and headed to Lost Souls.
Just thinking of it made my stomach flutter. I was here and I was going to see Gabriel. My heart leapt as my teenage infatuation quickly returned.
I drove to the club anticipating the bright neon of Lost Souls with every street sign passed. The parking lot at the club was incredibly full, so I ended up parking down the street and walking back. The line extending outside wasn’t too bad; I got in after waiting for only thirty minutes. My eyes were scanning the club looking for Gabriel in the sea of bodies.
The loud music and décor contributed to the clubs’ ominous feeling. Even though it was clearly designed to be a vampire club it didn’t match the level of creepiness that my dream version displayed. People were having a good time. Humans and vampires were undoubtedly mixed together on the dance floor and sharing space against the bars, that were strategically placed throughout the club.
I had completed a half circle around the perimeter of the club before my eyes rested on four tall men standing together near one of the back offices. I instantly recognized them as the purebloods on television; four of the six original purebloods that created their own species throughout time. Five being vampire, one being wolf. We, as humans, knew very little about the other two mysterious species of immortals that lived in our world, aside from these four which had gotten a tremendous amount of media time. They were all so tall, it was difficult to determine which one may be Gabriel from this distance. I funneled myself through the crowd making my way to their side of the room and not really knowing what I was going to do or say once I stood before him.
I stopped when I was ten feet from them. Two were not facing me.
“Gabriel?” I asked softly.
One of the men turned his head slightly to the side, picking up on my whisper over the intense sound of music. The other two men that were facing lifted their gaze and met mine with their magical eyes. I recognized one as Kris, Gabriel’s cousin and the patriarch or primary leader of this coven. His eyes were dark, almost black from this distance but hints of dark blue crystals were reflecting the periodic strobe lighting. His expression was stoic as he watched me giving the feeling that I was either not wanted or unimportant. I switched to the only other face that was looking at me. Nathaniel, Gabriel’s younger brother who only answered to the name “Johnny”. He was smiling beautifully, with the same good looks of his family members and with sweet pale blue eyes that reflected his friendly, well-known personality. I smiled back, happy for a fairly warm reception.
He mouthed a few words to the man on his left who had not yet turned around. Both heads finally turned to face me and I immediately found the face and the eyes of the man I was looking for. I smiled when I saw Gabriel’s exotic eyes look my way. He completed his turn and returned a small smile. He said something; just a few words that made the other vampires leave his side. I walked towards him, my heart starting to thump in my chest.
The first thing I noticed was I was taller. I came up to his chin, thanks to the boots I was wearing. I looked up at his face and paused for a moment, trying to find the words.
“Angel.” He remembered me.
I smiled bright, “Hello Gabriel.”
His eyes followed the length of my body, making me feel warm inside and little self-conscious.
“You are all grown up.” He observed.
I nodded, “Yes, it’s been awhile.” I felt the heat rise to the surface of my cheeks.
“Yes, it has.” He agreed. “You are even more beautiful then I remember.”
My head dropped, I was too shy to meet his gaze while he paid me compliments. “Thank you.” I glanced up at him and he was smiling at my modesty.
He held his hand out to me, “Come with me.”
I quickly took his hand and let him lead me into a corridor with an adjoining office. He held the door open and followed me inside.
Once the door was closed the majority of the club noise was silenced.
I turned around intending to see a smile but was met with a slight frown on his face.
“I asked you not to come.” He walked over to his desk and sat on top of it, facing me.
“What?” I was trying to remember when he had said that. The only time I remembered was the dream I had while still on the plane. Had it been real?
“But that was a dream…” I drifted off, not wanting to sound crazy.
“It was still me. That’s what I do.” He offered me a seat on one of the leather chairs that occupied this large office. I sat down feeling confused.
“I manipulate dreams.” He clarified. “I sensed you had come, I could feel you near.”
“That was real?”
“Only parts of it.” He said.
“But why didn’t you want me to come?” I was feeling a little hurt, “I wanted to thank you. My heart has healed.”
“Of course it has.” He smiled slightly. “And I am happy you are well, but it’s dangerous for you to be here, to be with me. You shouldn’t have come, Angel.”
“I don’t understand.” I only remembered the man that escorted me in the dark that changed my life forever, what could be dangerous about being with him?
“A lot has happened since I last saw you. I’m not the same vampire you met in Keaau.”
“What do you mean?”
“I won’t go into details but you need to trust me.”
“I do trust you.”I emphasized. I felt sad, almost to the point of tears. I stood up not knowing if I should leave or stay.
He stood up and approached me. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. “Don’t be upset, I’m happy to see you as well. This is just a
bad time for me.”
I looked up at his face, “A bad time? I don’t understand.”
He carefully released his embrace and ran his fingers through his hair. He sat back down on the desk and looked at me intently. “Events have happened in the past ten years that have added a certain…facet to my personality. One that’s difficult for me to control. Physically you are in danger of just being around me. You know I would never intentionally hurt you but the probability of it is high if you stay here.”
I walked over to him and sat next to him on the desk. I turned his face towards mine, “I know it’s been a long time and I also know that moments with each other have been brief but you have to know that I trust you. I don’t know what’s going on but I do know that you are the man that saved my life, I could never fear you.”
He took my hand from his face and laid it on my lap, “Maybe you should.”
I could feel the Portuguese stubbornness rise to the surface. “Despite what you think, I’m a grown woman and I can be here if I choose. If you don’t want to see me, then that’s a different matter entirely but I’m not leaving because you say so.” I almost regretted those words but did my best to stand by them.
He smiled at me, this time a little brighter, “I was hoping you might say that.” He reclaimed my hand and held it gently as we talked.
He sighed out loud. I was somewhat surprised by that human response.
He looked at me, lightly touching my cheek with his thumb, “For the record, it’s still a bad idea for you to be here.”
“Well it serves you right for walking me home that night. If you had left me alone I never would have thought to come see you. You see how everything happens for a reason?”
He nodded, smiling sweetly.
“Then we are agreed, this is all your fault.” I smiled.
He laughed, which made me feel amazing.
“You have an amazing smile.” I leaned in closer to him, completely attracted to him and those eyes. I felt my head swimming slightly as I closed my eyes to kiss him.
He pulled away and my eyes shot open.
“What is it?” I asked, still feeling a bit dizzy.
“Angel, don’t you realize that being this close to me affects you? You aren’t thinking straight, you aren’t yourself. I’m a vampire; I can make you feel star struck or destitute with a glance. You don’t really want me.”
“Yes, I do.” I bravely stated.
“Either way, it’s not possible. You’re welcome to stay, it’s not for me to tell you to leave California but if you’ve come here for anything other than reconnecting, you will be sorely disappointed.” His deep voice bellowed.
I was already feeling crushed. I had expected more than that but he was right. What was I thinking? The dizziness had finally cleared my head and I wondered what kind of a fool I had made myself out to be.
“I’m sorry.” I felt it was the most responsible thing to say for my assumption.
He stood up and went outside to a small patio that extended from his office. I was quick to join him.
“You’re right.” I confessed in the silence. “It was a childhood infatuation that gave me the courage to come here but I don’t regret it. Do you know how amazing it was for me to have a new lease on life?”
He looked at me listening intently.
“I was a girl dreaming of this magical creature that had saved me, me of all the people in the world. I dreamt of you nearly every night that you would come back
and check on me but it never happened.”
He turned away looking a bit sad.
“I wanted so badly to see you again, as an adult, to thank you. I’ve never felt truly safe my whole life except for when I was with you. I knew I would be okay with you around.”
He returned his gaze, watching my face.
“To be honest,” tears started to well, “I always thought your gift would wear off and one day it would catch me off guard and send me to the hospital or worse. I never expected it to last this long. I remember you said that ‘living in fear is no way to live’ and I tried to live by those words but fear always crept back in. It was only when I thought of you that I felt truly safe and fearless. That type of security, for me, is priceless.” I met his gaze. “Honestly Gabriel, I love feeling close to you and I’m terrified to leave your side.” I let my head fall slightly, “I know it’s a product of the human condition, self-pity and all but fear is very real for me and I’m sorry to have put so much pressure on you to make it go away.”
I felt his arms go around my shoulders and pull me close. “That is what I love about humans, so frail, so tragic and all so beautiful.” He lifted my chin so I would look at him, “But none so beautiful as you.”
I lay in bed recounting the time I spent at the club with Gabriel. I closed my eyes, heart and body on fire I fantasized a moment of time when he was mine and he was touching me the way I had always dreamt he would. I ran my hands along my body, touching my curves and imagining it was him, hoping he would like the feel of my soft, curvaceous body. There was a longing and then a brief emptiness I felt within my chest wanting it to be real and wondering if it ever would be. I felt sad almost to the point of tears when I thought it may never happen. I opened my eyes and rested my head to the side. Looking into the darkness of the room and thinking about Gabriel. I wished that he wanted me, that he would reconsider being with me even despite our differences. There was something that attracted me to him that was beyond the illusions of vampirism. It was the kindness in his face, the security in his embrace and the certainty that we were meant to be with each other throughout time. I didn’t fear his lifestyle or him. How could I when I had given my trust to him so long ago? Part of me was a hopeless romantic and I knew that. I wondered if that would be the cause of my heartbreak this time. I was putting too much of my heart into ideas and fantasies that were only attainable
according me. I had no idea if Gabriel felt the same. He said he didn’t want me in his life but I knew it was an effort to protect me, not reject me.
I closed my eyes, smiling to myself because I knew he cared for me. He had even said I was beautiful. Beautiful…me? My heart soared within my chest because I knew he was telling me the truth. He had no reason to lie, no ulterior motive. He could have said that I was pretty and I still would have been his. That compliment was the most genuine comment that I had ever heard in over a half dozen relationships. Just that one word had more meaning and feeling than all the attempted compliments or complacent remarks that I had lived off of for several years. Is this what it felt like to be beautiful? To have a man see something inside of you that you never knew existed? Whatever it was and for however long it lasted, I welcomed the feeling of sublime beauty and the realization that I had found the man all women deserved and rarely found; a man, a vampire, my Gabriel.
I drifted to sleep and embraced the dreams that I hoped would be mine for tonight.
Sometime later the sounds of my neighbors coming home had woke me from my sleep. I stirred slightly, glancing at the clock, four-thirty. I had been asleep for a little over an hour. I smiled thinking of my dream and closed my eyes hoping for a revisit. A slight breeze drifted over my body, lightly caressing my skin and then I felt the warm flesh of someone covering my eyes gently with their hand. I gasped in surprise.
“Don’t be afraid…I’m not going to hurt you.” He whispered into my ear.
That voice, I knew it was him. “Gabriel?” I asked touching the hand that covered my eyes.
It was then that I felt his body rest next to mine on the bed, leaning comfortably against me. His breath on my neck was electrifying my senses as my nerve endings shot through my body making everything tingle. I tried to remove his hand so I could see him.
“Don’t.” He responded.
“Why?”
“I don’t want you to see me, just feel me.” He ran his lips across my jaw kissing lightly on his way to my neck. I could feel his mouth open wide just above my throat and a flutter of nervousness hit my body. It was quickly gone when I felt the tenderness of his mouth and tongue as he kissed me. His hand was trailing along the side of my body, sending more electricity through my body when his hand touched the side of my breast. His palm rested for a moment on my stomach followed by his sweet kisses. His fingers carefully following the skin just under the fabric of my tank top, exploring slightly before he removed his hand. I could hear the sound and the tearing of my top between my breasts. Something sharp was splitting the fabric down the middle and cool air told me that he had cut the top almost to my navel.
I began to tense when I realized that he now had a view of my scars. They were permanent reminders of numerous heart surgeries that had left nasty raised scars along my chest. I rested my hand over my scar, hoping he would not look at them.
He kissed the side of my face and whispered into my ear, “Close your eyes and don’t open them, I will be gone before you can focus.” He removed the hand that covered my eyes and I tried to keep my eyes firmly closed.
He laced his fingers into my hand covering my scars and gently pulled it away. His other hand parted the fabric of my top so he could lay gentle kisses on my chest. Each kiss carefully and tenderly followed the line of scar tissue that deformed my body.
I reached out with my free hand touching his head while he kissed me. I felt the soft, smoothness of his hair and placed my hand on his shoulder. It felt like him, it had to be him. Who else would come to me?
“Gabriel?”
He was silent, continuing the upwards motion of kisses that took him back to my neck. His body moved closer to mine, pressing harder against me.
“You are so beautiful.” He finally spoke as he ran his fingers along the side of my face.
His warm, soft lips touched mine and my body exploded. He positioned his torso to rest on top of mine, careful not to put too much weight on me. He kissed me passionately making small sounds of pleasure escape from my throat. I held the side of his face, lacing my fingers along the back of his neck and wanting more from his kiss. He responded and I felt the velvet smoothness of his tongue enter my mouth.
I gasped for air when our lips parted. My heart was racing and my breathing was heavy but he was still silent in the dark. He lifted his body from mine and rested alongside of me again.
He ran his hand over the torn clothing that covered my breast before putting his hand under my body. He lifted my body with his arm, making my back arch and my head fall back. My neck exposed he kissed the tender skin under my chin and beneath my ear.
I could feel my heart pounding, my pulse had quickened and no doubt he could hear the sounds of my blood racing through my body.
“I love you.” I managed to confess.
He laid my body down on the bed, “I know.” He whispered in my ear.
My stomach sank briefly at the thought that my emotions may have been too transparent but who was I kidding? I had no intentions of hiding my feelings from him; I only wanted to keep myself from acting a fool over it.
“Angel…” His hot breath was on my jaw, “this is no place for you. You have to leave, I want you to, but I had to touch you, just once.”
“Gabriel!” My eyes shot open to protest leaving.
A rush of wind burst through the motel room rousing the curtains and scattering my hair. When I looked into the darkness, he was gone.
Part Four
To say that I went back to sleep after that, would have been a lie. The truth was I lay in bed for a good portion of the morning with my eyes closed, listening for any sound that would indicate he had returned but he never did. When I finally fell asleep I didn’t dream, at least I couldn’t remember it if I did. I woke up to the early evening hours and anticipated going back to the club tonight. How couldn’t I? The part of me that was my mother was scolding my plans for reuniting with Gabriel tonight. I was acting like a silly little girl of fifteen again. Locked in a fantasy with a man I barely knew. I hated having contradictory thoughts, why couldn’t I get lost in this world just once without
feelings of guilt or immaturity? I pushed my mothers’common sense away and told myself to follow my heart and then my head. Living life in the opposite had already proven to be a passionless life and this was my opportunity to change that, for good or for bad. After all it wasn’t too long ago that life’s uncertainty was very real. Not having any plans other than to outlive the day had been the best I could hope for back then. Now, I wanted more. Words like
‘later’, ‘tomorrow’ and ‘plans’ had never been part of my vocabulary. But now I could see a future, one with happiness and hope and with any luck one particular man by my side.
The butterflies were fluttering again in my stomach as I walked through Lost Souls, looking for that familiar person. My eyes were wide searching every dark corner, trying to be observant without bumping into the sea of human bodies that occupied the club.
I saw a stature that I recognized and pushed my way forward to chase after it before it disappeared into the next room. It looked like him, but I hadn’t had the chance to see his face. He quickly darted away moving in a blur between the crowds. A vampire indeed, which one, I had no idea. I had turned the corner and he was gone. I sighed out loud, frustrated and wondering if it would be better to ask one of the bartenders where I could find Gabriel.
“Angel.” I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I turned around and was met with Johnny’s face. “Johnny. Hi.” I smiled.
“Gabriel’s not here.” He said and motioned for me to follow him out of the congested front room of the club. We walked towards the back, away from the blaring music and dancers.
The butterflies in my stomach fell like a handful of coins, how couldn’t he be here? It was the weekend and this place was packed.
Johnny led me to the same familiar hallway that housed numerous offices. This time instead of taking a right into Gabriel’s’ office, we took a left. I looked at Gabriel’s closed office door, wondering where he was. Johnny held the door for me before shutting off the music just outside.
“He’s not here tonight.” He reiterated.
“Where is he?” I boldly asked as if it were my business.
Johnny smiled slightly, deciding on whether or not to answer me, no doubt.
“He’s with Kris and Trent. They are the only two physically stronger than him. They are taking care of him until…” He paused searching for the right words, “He feels better.”
My look of confusion prompted Johnny to continue.
“Look, I don’t have anything against you, none of us do. It’s a side effect from seeing Gabriel actually take interest in someone after several decades of self-induced solitude. But I have to say that you should not be here, you can’t be around Gabriel, especially right now. He’s not himself. Do us a favor and leave California. He would never forgive himself if something happened to you here.”
“What could happen to me? I’m not a threat to him or any vampire.”
“Our father Niyol was killed in Hawaii before we left. Niyol’s power transferred to his oldest living son, Gabriel.”
“Neeyo?” I asked a bit surprised that vampires had parents. I really didn’t know their lineage and sort of thought that vampires were made, not born.
“Niyol, our father. He was the eldest living pureblood. Dark and evil, his power and…personality transferred to Gabriel when he died.”
“Is that why he doesn’t want me around? He’s afraid he’ll hurt me?” I asked in disbelief.
“Yes.”
“But what about the club, the humans? If Gabriel likes me, why would he hurt me out of all his choices?” It didn’t make sense.
“He craves you, he can sense you near.” Johnny continued after a short pause. “He doesn’t remember his pure feelings for you he only knows he wants you. His thoughts are twisted when he’s not himself.”
A loud sound from across the hallway got my attention. “Is he here?” I asked turning back to face Johnny.
He didn’t answer me.
“You told me he wasn’t!” I was getting angry.
“You should go. I’ll walk you out.” Johnny took my arm and walked me out of his office.
I broke free and burst through the door to Gabriel’s office.
Gabriel was in the middle of the floor on his hands and knees. Shirtless and hunched over with his head hanging down. The skin on his back was riddled with scar
tissue from a human life. Long raised lashes crisscrossed down the length of his back and disappeared under his belt buckle. His twin cousins Kris and Trent looked like mirrored images, each holding Gabriel by a shoulder, both with black hair and burning red eyes met mine whenI burst through the door. Gabriel’s head still hung as he panted due to some sort of over exertion. Johnny was already behind me holding onto my shoulder firmly so that I could not step forward.
“Gabriel?” I called to him.
His head lifted and stared back at me. His eyes were filled with the color black, solid and depthless I knew he was focusing on me clearly when he smiled an unfamiliar wicked smile. It sent chills down my body and made me shiver from my core; it felt like I was looking into the face of death. His long, dark nails were clawing at the tile beneath him and etching out small chunks of stone and dust. I could see the added pressure that the cousins were putting on his shoulders, keeping Gabriel in place as he tried to crawl my way.
“Get her out of here!” Kris yelled.
Johnny pulled me with force backwards through the doorway.
“Angel…” Gabriel growled. His voice was deep and animalistic. The sound rumbled in my ears and made the pulse pound in my neck. I felt dizzy again but it was worse this time, I felt like I was going to faint. I held onto the arm that was around me, hoping Johnny wouldn’t let me fall.
He managed to slam the office door shut and the spell was broken. The haze lifted quickly and I was able to regain my balance. I cleared my thoughts
and focused on Johnny’s concerned face.
“Are you alright?” He asked.
I nodded, not sure if my shaky voice would convince him. The adrenaline in my heart was wildly pounding; I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.
“Come on.” He took hold of my hand and led me through the club and outside for some fresh air.
“Do you understand now?” He asked after a few moments of gathering my thoughts.
I nodded, “Yes.”
We sat down outside the club in the cool night air and I listened as Johnny explained further.
“He’s okay, most of the time. He just has these episodes once in a while. It’s usually triggered by drinking some bad blood.”
“What do you mean?”
He thought for a minute, “Have you ever read Dracula by Bram Stoker? He wrote, ‘the blood is the life’ and he meant that quite literally. Every person we drink from carries a small blueprint of their life as well as their lifestyle, drinking from someone with a less than admirable life causes us to take on some of their more colorful characteristics for a little while. In Gabriel’s case, it can trigger one of his darker episodes. It’s difficult to find a volunteer with virtuous tendencies.”
“You have volunteers?”
“Ever since the world learned about us vampires, yes. The need for secrecy in feeding is all but gone and we have all the willing donors we can handle.”
I shuddered to think of being a meal to a vampire. The idea frightened me. What little I knew, I understood that vampires didn’t kill just to feed but still I wasn’t sure how I felt about randomly offering myself as a meal.
“Ideally, finding someone with an angelic body and soul would be best for my brother.”
“What about me, can I help him?” All thoughts of repulsion quickly left as I thought that I may be able to offer some peace to Gabriel.
Johnny smiled, “That’s only part of the trigger Angel. It will happen with or without bad blood.”
“How long does it last?”
“The episodes? Not too long, some longer than others. He should be okay in a few hours.”
“Why is he here isn’t it dangerous around humans?”
“There’s no way of telling when or where he will have an episode. He’s my brother; I can’t lock him away for all time. We just have to be ready to help when he needs us. It’s easier when he feeds, we can watch him for a bit before we let him out in public but this episode came on without feeding. He’s hungry and he’s angry right now, which makes him especially difficult to control.”
I thought back to his cousins pinning him to the floor. I wondered about the scars on his back and dared to ask Johnny. “What happened to his back?”
“Gabriel, being the eldest took on a lot of the…burden of our childhood. Our father was not kind.”
“Your father did that to him?” I asked in disbelief.
Johnny nodded, lost in thought, maybe a memory.
“So those scars are from childhood?”
“Yes.”
“Vampires are born?” I asked as a new thought crossed my mind.
“Yes. Not so much anymore but once upon time they were. We are the first of our bloodline. We were born human and developed our vampire characteristics in our teen years. Any scars received during our human lives, stay with us forever despite the vampire transformation and countless feedings.”
I thought back to Gabriel, in the office, angry and hungry. “So he needs blood? What about mine? Will it calm him down?” I asked with a nervous flutter in my stomach.
“Are you talking about right now?” Johnny laughed out loud. “You would have to be insane to want to get that close to him. He’ll tear you apart.”
“But it might help, right? Can’t you just…” I made a cutting motion against my arm, “You know, take some to him?”
He was looking at me silently as if he was processing my question.
“Possibly.” He said quietly.
I stood up, “Okay, let’s go. I won’t get close to him, you take my blood and feed it to him.”
“Angel, this is a bad idea.” Johnny followed me as I ran back into the club and headed to the office door.
He caught up to me and grabbed my arm before I could enter. “You felt what he did to you last time. Wait here for a minute and let me talk to my cousins.”
A quick glimpse as Johnny opened to door and I saw Gabriel was standing towards the back of the room, his body was being pushed into the far wall as Kris and Trent tried to keep him restrained.
“I told you to get her out of here!!” Kris yelled as Johnny entered the room.
The door closed and I couldn’t hear any of the conversation. I subconsciously ran my finger over my blouse, feeling the raised scar tissue on my chest and suddenly understood why my little scar was no longer the gross deformity I had originally thought it to be. Gabriel had endured much more pain then I could ever imagine. I truly felt disappointed in myself thinking that all my life I had allowed myself to feel such shame about something so small. I had let it rule me, control me and dictate my level of happiness. I was lucky and it took me until this moment to finally realize it.
Johnny stepped back into the hallway. He quickly closed the door behind him.
“Okay, we’ll try it.”
My eyes got wide because now it was real. I took a deep breath,“Okay, what do you want me to do?”
“Come with me.”
“Really?” I asked surprised as he opened the office door.
“We need to feed it to him directly, he doesn’t understand the concept of a cup.” He explained.
“We’ll hold him, you hold her.” Kris explained to Johnny.
He nodded and we inched closer to Gabriel who was now quietly sitting on the floor. Gabriel watched me get closer, his calmness made me very uneasy but I concentrated on the idea and tried not to think about the repercussions. The closer we got the louder a distinct growl became. I could hear a rumbling that I knew was coming from within Gabriel.
“Gabriel, it’s me, Angel.” I had to say something to at least break the silence. My anxiety was through the roof.
He smiled that same devilish smile. His eyes were still bleeding black but they were rippling and pulsating as if they had their own heartbeat.
I attempted to kneel to be closer to him, Johnny corrected me.“No, stay standing.”
We inched closer, Johnny’s arm around my waist ready for a hasty retreat, his other arm was extending my right arm out to Gabriel. Trent held his arms down so he could not reach for me and Kris held him in a sitting position. Gabriel’s neck stretched towards my bare wrist. His mouth was open, almost gaping with small drops of saliva dangling from the tips of his pure white fangs. He tilted his head to the side, periodically snapping his jaws closed. He was biting at the air waiting for me to be just within reach. I looked once more into the dark abyss of his eyes and turned my head to one side to brace myself for what I knew was inevitable.
Heat and pain shot through my wrist and up my arm sending electricity and fire through my nerve endings. I gasped out loud but managed not to scream. I gritted
my teeth and tried not to be terrified. His soft growling was sending shudders of vibration up my arm and twinges of nervousness throughout my body. The subtle chewing on my wrist didn’t help, it was becoming very sore and at one point he bit down hard expelling a slight scream from my lips. The cousins tightened their grip on his body but allowed him to continue. The pain was starting to get worse, what initially was an annoying physical pain had turned into much more. It felt like he may bite completely through my wrist. When I thought I couldn’t take the pain anymore and was on the verge of tears, the pain lessened. The ‘chewing’ had stopped and was replaced with delicate sucking. For the first time since it began I looked at Gabriel. His eyes were slightly closed, still black but something was changing. The twins and Johnny released their grips on Gabriel and I slowly knelt to be next to him. A cascading stream of blood flowed down my forearm as I watched him drink from me. His face was changing, not as stern. I looked up at the cousins and his brother and they were smiling slightly. They had sensed the change in him and had no longer felt the need for restraint. Had it worked?
His eyes met mine. I stared back into his black eyes and watched the sclera return to white. The iris shifted to red for a few moments before beautiful green
crystals appeared in his eyes again. I smiled and gently touched his face, he had returned to us.
Not long after, it was decided that Gabriel was no longer a threat to me. We were left alone to talk.
“I thought I told you to leave.” He said.
I smiled, “You should know me better than that.”
He shook his head and held my wrist “Does it still hurt?”
“No, it’s fine.” I stood closer to him on the patio and rested my head on his shoulder. “You know, I waited for you to come back this morning. I didn’t mean to ruin the moment.”
He smiled not saying anything.
I tilted my head up and looked at him, “Why all the secrecy, why couldn’t I see you?”
He looked down at me, “Would it have made leaving any easier?”
“Probably not. But I was beginning to wonder if it truly was you.”
“Anonymity was the idea. I really thought it would be a lot harder to convince you to leave if you knew without a doubt it was me.”
“Now leaving is impossible.” I smiled.
“Angel…” He was beginning to protest, “This doesn’t mean everything is okay.”
I interrupted, “Clearly this means that you need me as much as I need you. Everything else we will work out as it comes our way. I mean, did you feel anything normal when you were near me?”
He thought for a moment. “I knew it was you. It was hard to separate the feelings I was having at the time, but I definitely knew it was you. It may take me some time to control the randomness of it all but at least I know control and awareness are possible. I still don’t trust myself with you, I’m afraid of what I might do.”
“Living in fear is not living at all. A good friend once told me that.” I smiled at him.
He returned the smile and wrapped his arm around me. “I guess we have more in common than I thought.” His other hand unbuttoned the top portion of my blouse so he could rest his palm against my sternum. He leaned in, pausing just for a moment to whisper against my lips, “I love you, Angel” then he kissed me.
feelings of guilt or immaturity? I pushed my mothers’common sense away and told myself to follow my heart and then my head. Living life in the opposite had already proven to be a passionless life and this was my opportunity to change that, for good or for bad. After all it wasn’t too long ago that life’s uncertainty was very real. Not having any plans other than to outlive the day had been the best I could hope for back then. Now, I wanted more. Words like
‘later’, ‘tomorrow’ and ‘plans’ had never been part of my vocabulary. But now I could see a future, one with happiness and hope and with any luck one particular man by my side.
The butterflies were fluttering again in my stomach as I walked through Lost Souls, looking for that familiar person. My eyes were wide searching every dark corner, trying to be observant without bumping into the sea of human bodies that occupied the club.
I saw a stature that I recognized and pushed my way forward to chase after it before it disappeared into the next room. It looked like him, but I hadn’t had the chance to see his face. He quickly darted away moving in a blur between the crowds. A vampire indeed, which one, I had no idea. I had turned the corner and he was gone. I sighed out loud, frustrated and wondering if it would be better to ask one of the bartenders where I could find Gabriel.
“Angel.” I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I turned around and was met with Johnny’s face. “Johnny. Hi.” I smiled.
“Gabriel’s not here.” He said and motioned for me to follow him out of the congested front room of the club. We walked towards the back, away from the blaring music and dancers.
The butterflies in my stomach fell like a handful of coins, how couldn’t he be here? It was the weekend and this place was packed.
Johnny led me to the same familiar hallway that housed numerous offices. This time instead of taking a right into Gabriel’s’ office, we took a left. I looked at Gabriel’s closed office door, wondering where he was. Johnny held the door for me before shutting off the music just outside.
“He’s not here tonight.” He reiterated.
“Where is he?” I boldly asked as if it were my business.
Johnny smiled slightly, deciding on whether or not to answer me, no doubt.
“He’s with Kris and Trent. They are the only two physically stronger than him. They are taking care of him until…” He paused searching for the right words, “He feels better.”
My look of confusion prompted Johnny to continue.
“Look, I don’t have anything against you, none of us do. It’s a side effect from seeing Gabriel actually take interest in someone after several decades of self-induced solitude. But I have to say that you should not be here, you can’t be around Gabriel, especially right now. He’s not himself. Do us a favor and leave California. He would never forgive himself if something happened to you here.”
“What could happen to me? I’m not a threat to him or any vampire.”
“Our father Niyol was killed in Hawaii before we left. Niyol’s power transferred to his oldest living son, Gabriel.”
“Neeyo?” I asked a bit surprised that vampires had parents. I really didn’t know their lineage and sort of thought that vampires were made, not born.
“Niyol, our father. He was the eldest living pureblood. Dark and evil, his power and…personality transferred to Gabriel when he died.”
“Is that why he doesn’t want me around? He’s afraid he’ll hurt me?” I asked in disbelief.
“Yes.”
“But what about the club, the humans? If Gabriel likes me, why would he hurt me out of all his choices?” It didn’t make sense.
“He craves you, he can sense you near.” Johnny continued after a short pause. “He doesn’t remember his pure feelings for you he only knows he wants you. His thoughts are twisted when he’s not himself.”
A loud sound from across the hallway got my attention. “Is he here?” I asked turning back to face Johnny.
He didn’t answer me.
“You told me he wasn’t!” I was getting angry.
“You should go. I’ll walk you out.” Johnny took my arm and walked me out of his office.
I broke free and burst through the door to Gabriel’s office.
Gabriel was in the middle of the floor on his hands and knees. Shirtless and hunched over with his head hanging down. The skin on his back was riddled with scar
tissue from a human life. Long raised lashes crisscrossed down the length of his back and disappeared under his belt buckle. His twin cousins Kris and Trent looked like mirrored images, each holding Gabriel by a shoulder, both with black hair and burning red eyes met mine whenI burst through the door. Gabriel’s head still hung as he panted due to some sort of over exertion. Johnny was already behind me holding onto my shoulder firmly so that I could not step forward.
“Gabriel?” I called to him.
His head lifted and stared back at me. His eyes were filled with the color black, solid and depthless I knew he was focusing on me clearly when he smiled an unfamiliar wicked smile. It sent chills down my body and made me shiver from my core; it felt like I was looking into the face of death. His long, dark nails were clawing at the tile beneath him and etching out small chunks of stone and dust. I could see the added pressure that the cousins were putting on his shoulders, keeping Gabriel in place as he tried to crawl my way.
“Get her out of here!” Kris yelled.
Johnny pulled me with force backwards through the doorway.
“Angel…” Gabriel growled. His voice was deep and animalistic. The sound rumbled in my ears and made the pulse pound in my neck. I felt dizzy again but it was worse this time, I felt like I was going to faint. I held onto the arm that was around me, hoping Johnny wouldn’t let me fall.
He managed to slam the office door shut and the spell was broken. The haze lifted quickly and I was able to regain my balance. I cleared my thoughts
and focused on Johnny’s concerned face.
“Are you alright?” He asked.
I nodded, not sure if my shaky voice would convince him. The adrenaline in my heart was wildly pounding; I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.
“Come on.” He took hold of my hand and led me through the club and outside for some fresh air.
“Do you understand now?” He asked after a few moments of gathering my thoughts.
I nodded, “Yes.”
We sat down outside the club in the cool night air and I listened as Johnny explained further.
“He’s okay, most of the time. He just has these episodes once in a while. It’s usually triggered by drinking some bad blood.”
“What do you mean?”
He thought for a minute, “Have you ever read Dracula by Bram Stoker? He wrote, ‘the blood is the life’ and he meant that quite literally. Every person we drink from carries a small blueprint of their life as well as their lifestyle, drinking from someone with a less than admirable life causes us to take on some of their more colorful characteristics for a little while. In Gabriel’s case, it can trigger one of his darker episodes. It’s difficult to find a volunteer with virtuous tendencies.”
“You have volunteers?”
“Ever since the world learned about us vampires, yes. The need for secrecy in feeding is all but gone and we have all the willing donors we can handle.”
I shuddered to think of being a meal to a vampire. The idea frightened me. What little I knew, I understood that vampires didn’t kill just to feed but still I wasn’t sure how I felt about randomly offering myself as a meal.
“Ideally, finding someone with an angelic body and soul would be best for my brother.”
“What about me, can I help him?” All thoughts of repulsion quickly left as I thought that I may be able to offer some peace to Gabriel.
Johnny smiled, “That’s only part of the trigger Angel. It will happen with or without bad blood.”
“How long does it last?”
“The episodes? Not too long, some longer than others. He should be okay in a few hours.”
“Why is he here isn’t it dangerous around humans?”
“There’s no way of telling when or where he will have an episode. He’s my brother; I can’t lock him away for all time. We just have to be ready to help when he needs us. It’s easier when he feeds, we can watch him for a bit before we let him out in public but this episode came on without feeding. He’s hungry and he’s angry right now, which makes him especially difficult to control.”
I thought back to his cousins pinning him to the floor. I wondered about the scars on his back and dared to ask Johnny. “What happened to his back?”
“Gabriel, being the eldest took on a lot of the…burden of our childhood. Our father was not kind.”
“Your father did that to him?” I asked in disbelief.
Johnny nodded, lost in thought, maybe a memory.
“So those scars are from childhood?”
“Yes.”
“Vampires are born?” I asked as a new thought crossed my mind.
“Yes. Not so much anymore but once upon time they were. We are the first of our bloodline. We were born human and developed our vampire characteristics in our teen years. Any scars received during our human lives, stay with us forever despite the vampire transformation and countless feedings.”
I thought back to Gabriel, in the office, angry and hungry. “So he needs blood? What about mine? Will it calm him down?” I asked with a nervous flutter in my stomach.
“Are you talking about right now?” Johnny laughed out loud. “You would have to be insane to want to get that close to him. He’ll tear you apart.”
“But it might help, right? Can’t you just…” I made a cutting motion against my arm, “You know, take some to him?”
He was looking at me silently as if he was processing my question.
“Possibly.” He said quietly.
I stood up, “Okay, let’s go. I won’t get close to him, you take my blood and feed it to him.”
“Angel, this is a bad idea.” Johnny followed me as I ran back into the club and headed to the office door.
He caught up to me and grabbed my arm before I could enter. “You felt what he did to you last time. Wait here for a minute and let me talk to my cousins.”
A quick glimpse as Johnny opened to door and I saw Gabriel was standing towards the back of the room, his body was being pushed into the far wall as Kris and Trent tried to keep him restrained.
“I told you to get her out of here!!” Kris yelled as Johnny entered the room.
The door closed and I couldn’t hear any of the conversation. I subconsciously ran my finger over my blouse, feeling the raised scar tissue on my chest and suddenly understood why my little scar was no longer the gross deformity I had originally thought it to be. Gabriel had endured much more pain then I could ever imagine. I truly felt disappointed in myself thinking that all my life I had allowed myself to feel such shame about something so small. I had let it rule me, control me and dictate my level of happiness. I was lucky and it took me until this moment to finally realize it.
Johnny stepped back into the hallway. He quickly closed the door behind him.
“Okay, we’ll try it.”
My eyes got wide because now it was real. I took a deep breath,“Okay, what do you want me to do?”
“Come with me.”
“Really?” I asked surprised as he opened the office door.
“We need to feed it to him directly, he doesn’t understand the concept of a cup.” He explained.
“We’ll hold him, you hold her.” Kris explained to Johnny.
He nodded and we inched closer to Gabriel who was now quietly sitting on the floor. Gabriel watched me get closer, his calmness made me very uneasy but I concentrated on the idea and tried not to think about the repercussions. The closer we got the louder a distinct growl became. I could hear a rumbling that I knew was coming from within Gabriel.
“Gabriel, it’s me, Angel.” I had to say something to at least break the silence. My anxiety was through the roof.
He smiled that same devilish smile. His eyes were still bleeding black but they were rippling and pulsating as if they had their own heartbeat.
I attempted to kneel to be closer to him, Johnny corrected me.“No, stay standing.”
We inched closer, Johnny’s arm around my waist ready for a hasty retreat, his other arm was extending my right arm out to Gabriel. Trent held his arms down so he could not reach for me and Kris held him in a sitting position. Gabriel’s neck stretched towards my bare wrist. His mouth was open, almost gaping with small drops of saliva dangling from the tips of his pure white fangs. He tilted his head to the side, periodically snapping his jaws closed. He was biting at the air waiting for me to be just within reach. I looked once more into the dark abyss of his eyes and turned my head to one side to brace myself for what I knew was inevitable.
Heat and pain shot through my wrist and up my arm sending electricity and fire through my nerve endings. I gasped out loud but managed not to scream. I gritted
my teeth and tried not to be terrified. His soft growling was sending shudders of vibration up my arm and twinges of nervousness throughout my body. The subtle chewing on my wrist didn’t help, it was becoming very sore and at one point he bit down hard expelling a slight scream from my lips. The cousins tightened their grip on his body but allowed him to continue. The pain was starting to get worse, what initially was an annoying physical pain had turned into much more. It felt like he may bite completely through my wrist. When I thought I couldn’t take the pain anymore and was on the verge of tears, the pain lessened. The ‘chewing’ had stopped and was replaced with delicate sucking. For the first time since it began I looked at Gabriel. His eyes were slightly closed, still black but something was changing. The twins and Johnny released their grips on Gabriel and I slowly knelt to be next to him. A cascading stream of blood flowed down my forearm as I watched him drink from me. His face was changing, not as stern. I looked up at the cousins and his brother and they were smiling slightly. They had sensed the change in him and had no longer felt the need for restraint. Had it worked?
His eyes met mine. I stared back into his black eyes and watched the sclera return to white. The iris shifted to red for a few moments before beautiful green
crystals appeared in his eyes again. I smiled and gently touched his face, he had returned to us.
Not long after, it was decided that Gabriel was no longer a threat to me. We were left alone to talk.
“I thought I told you to leave.” He said.
I smiled, “You should know me better than that.”
He shook his head and held my wrist “Does it still hurt?”
“No, it’s fine.” I stood closer to him on the patio and rested my head on his shoulder. “You know, I waited for you to come back this morning. I didn’t mean to ruin the moment.”
He smiled not saying anything.
I tilted my head up and looked at him, “Why all the secrecy, why couldn’t I see you?”
He looked down at me, “Would it have made leaving any easier?”
“Probably not. But I was beginning to wonder if it truly was you.”
“Anonymity was the idea. I really thought it would be a lot harder to convince you to leave if you knew without a doubt it was me.”
“Now leaving is impossible.” I smiled.
“Angel…” He was beginning to protest, “This doesn’t mean everything is okay.”
I interrupted, “Clearly this means that you need me as much as I need you. Everything else we will work out as it comes our way. I mean, did you feel anything normal when you were near me?”
He thought for a moment. “I knew it was you. It was hard to separate the feelings I was having at the time, but I definitely knew it was you. It may take me some time to control the randomness of it all but at least I know control and awareness are possible. I still don’t trust myself with you, I’m afraid of what I might do.”
“Living in fear is not living at all. A good friend once told me that.” I smiled at him.
He returned the smile and wrapped his arm around me. “I guess we have more in common than I thought.” His other hand unbuttoned the top portion of my blouse so he could rest his palm against my sternum. He leaned in, pausing just for a moment to whisper against my lips, “I love you, Angel” then he kissed me.